Hello soulful human, my name is Mindy.
Thank you for being here, and finding some curiosity in my story and journey in this thing called life that led me to create this holistic health and spirituality centered website.
Sharing here is a way for me to express the knowledge I’ve accrued throughout this Earth walk. I believe helping others find solace and alternative means of dealing with tough times is my purpose.
You see, anxiety and depression were synonymous to my waking reality just a few years ago. These intense expressions of pain and trauma led to me becoming entangled in an addiction to drugs that could assist in me escaping from my heavy, burdensome emotions.
Unfortunately, these drugs were far too easy for my teenage self to acquire being some of them were prescribed to me by my own psychiatrist.
My group of friends became trauma bonded after a series of deaths of those close to us. We felt this level of understanding in each other since we were all just as broken by what had happened.
We stuck around each other, and therefore none of us got better because we were all poor influences on each other.
Many days I spent living with a death wish I could never consciously inflict upon myself. I didn’t want to live, but I also felt suicide wasn’t the answer. Something I believed would lead to karmic baggage. So, my middle ground was substance abuse, and codependent relationships to get by.
Ah, until one bright shining day came along when finally I sat vomiting by the toilet bowl something bunk I had been sold, head pounding something viscous. While this was certainly not my first awful experience trying to get high, in this moment I realized it was right then I had to choose life or death.
I received some sort of deep inner knowing (divine intervention?) that if right then I didn’t change paths and get clean that I would finally have gotten my death wish. Some little part of me that was buried deep within knew I could be doing more, and she woke up inside of me to help me with the withdrawals and the uprising of repressed emotions that would drown me like a wave in the next two months.
I got better, and I wasn’t perfect. I didn’t subscribe to the ‘mess up once and the whole thing has gone to shreds’ logic. I was gentle with myself and my healing process. First, I cut out anyone I knew was using drugs and would be risky for me to be around. Then, slowly friends I thought I could hold onto started to get weeded out as well as I saw their true colors.
“It’s funny how when you stop partying and doing drugs people stop thinking your any fun” I would think to myself. It felt lonely. But, I quickly realized there’s a whole lot of healthy people out there that I could go associate with instead of the toxic circles I once rode in. When some way of living is your whole identity and all you know, it’s much like an ego death to change.
I don’t regret any of it. Even though for a hot minute I was looking back at all the wreckage like “…” Although, I wonder if I knew what I know now could I have eased the blow of the traumas that occurred in my life then?
If I had some of the tools in my belt back then like the knowledge of medicinal herbs to help alleviate the anxiety I felt, supplements that could have lifted the dark cloud of my lack of catecholamines, or the nutritional knowledge that could’ve gotten me off birth control and assisted me in managing my hormones, would it have been different?
These questions mean nothing now of course besides can I help someone else with this knowledge who is going through something similar?
The answer is yes and no. If this someone is anything like I was then, I wasn’t ready to heal. In fact, I was ready to die, I was over it, and stubborn. I would lie to my therapists and say what I thought they’d want to hear so I could be left alone to my misery.
But, when that day came around that I did decide that I was ready to change, oh boy would it have been something if I had a clue on how to ease the blow and reintegrate.
Therefore, this blog and my YouTube channel are my ways of sharing my most valuable tidbits and insights that have assisted me in returning to my state of intuitive calm.
Perhaps you are at the rock bottom now that has opened you up to new ways of living your life, or maybe you have been walking this path for a while now but would like inspiration to continue on. This is for you.
Besides that, massage therapy and reiki healing is how I give back to the community and help my clients somatically process their limitations so that they can be released and their bodies will return to the parasympathetic state of healing that stress tries to take away.
When you are open to healing, you will find it. Only then will you find it. It always starts with you, within you.
Within my massage therapy practice, I prove this previous statement time and time again. The clients who are willing to let go and leave their stress at the door, are the ones who find peace. They allow me in, and that means they allow their muscles to relax and their mind to become calm.
This is also true of anything you will learn on my website and channel. Open yourself up, and receive the messages provided. It is up to you to perceive it in a way that is beneficial to your growth and if you take what is given, assess if it’s something for you, and add your own research on top of it, you’re golden.
Now, as I reach my third year of massage therapy, and nearly my reiki master attunement, I am stepping into the role of full time student to begin my path towards psychology, something I have been interested in since I was 15 and first began experiencing anxiety and depression.
I hope to work with those one day who have experienced trauma, addictions, and all of the like so that I can help them to reprogram their minds with therapies like EMDR instead of just learning to cope with the symptoms. Inviting them to view their life as a holistic equation that adds up to how they are feeling in their bodies.
Until then, I’ll be making many herbal concoctions in my free time, dragging myself to yoga (and then floating out of class afterwards), and traveling as much as I’m able between all of the school work and massage therapy appointments on my schedule.
Let’s walk this walk of life together, continue to push the limits of our comfort zone, and invite more effortless calmness into our lives no matter the situation or circumstance presented by life.